Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize