Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
