just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
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is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
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Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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