Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
