There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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