I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
