no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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