We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize