woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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