oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
