This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize