Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
