Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Blood and glitter go together right?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
