im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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