We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
