He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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