your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Someone shattered a urinal.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I wear drunk well.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
