bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
