don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize