I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
