i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize