i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
