Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
