I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
