i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
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Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
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And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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