fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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