If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
