ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
