Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
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Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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