belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
