So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
