Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
