Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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