I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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