i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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