So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize