is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize