They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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