The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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