6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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