What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
