Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
