That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
