I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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