At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
