why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
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Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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