oh god the rape fog is back!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
