margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
