the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
