HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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