You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
