so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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