drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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