Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
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