a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
