I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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