he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
